Dear high school male athletic team, I know that being a prisoner in the club van as you drive cross state for a match in Lehi is not the funnest thing in the world, but can't you use your intelligence and creativity to come up with something to do rather than harass me? Your sign says "show us your titties". Really? How original.
Dear blue Saturn, I understand that you are from Utah and that no one taught you the rules of the road but where I come from it is rude and dangerous to tailgate. If you don't stop riding my ace, I am going to brake check you into next week. Have a good day.
Dear family home evening brother, I know that here in Utah the Jazz are a big deal, but can't you love and appreciate your team with out hating on my Lakers? Better yet, I feel like we would all benefit if you loved and appreciated your team in silence. That way I don't have to embarrass you in front of your friends by reminding you that LA has dominated the Jazz in the western conference finals the last TWO years in a row. I know my team is better, and you know my team is better, but lets keep the fact that you are an idiot a secret. MMk pumpkin?
Dear Icelandic Volcanoe, Do you not realize that by continuing to errupt and spew your filthy ashes all over the place that you are not only infecting the enviornment with your toxic waste, but you are also preventing many people from flying in the big metal airplanes back to the arms of the ones that love them? My friend Zarah is one such individual, and my arms are very lonely for her embrace. So if you can't get it together I'm gonna use my arms to punch you in the face.You waited this long, surely you can wait another week or so. That's what I thought.
Dear stupid boy that almost got me killed and spent the whole day laughing at me. There are no words.
Dear random roommate in University Villa, Really I come to you for sympathy and you give me a hard time? What are you a male? Typical. Do I really look like someone that you want to piss off? You might want to rethink whose team you're on because I never lose and I take no prisoners.
Dear LJ, I know you think you are cute and charismatic, but that does not excuse the fact that you are also an annoying little twit. You are like a bull in a china shop. How you got in a china shop I have no idea, but you won't leave until you've broken every piece. Isn't that a little unnecessary? You know what they do to bulls that can't behave? Hello Pedigree.
Dear LJ, I know you think you are cute and charismatic, but that does not excuse the fact that you are also an annoying little twit. You are like a bull in a china shop. How you got in a china shop I have no idea, but you won't leave until you've broken every piece. Isn't that a little unnecessary? You know what they do to bulls that can't behave? Hello Pedigree.
